Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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