that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
