Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
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