i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
