No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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