I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
