so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We're too hungover to prance.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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