If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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