Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
