Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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