About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
They took my balls.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
