I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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