He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
