Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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