okay pat passed out under dana's car
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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