Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
