so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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