How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
