I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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