yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
