I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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