google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
