went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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