I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
