we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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