Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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