the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
