I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
