I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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