Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
