Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
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