Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
