oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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