You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
