i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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