I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
