whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
