I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
