We're facebook friends in real life
wanna go halves on a baby?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
