her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
