some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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