Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
