Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
