My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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