Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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