Someone shit on the floor
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
