I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
