my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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