Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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