Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
