I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
