...so i touched it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
