Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
