Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
