Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
